Nervous & Excited

We've made it to our 20th week. Exciting isn't it?!?!

Today is the big for Matt , Caleb, and myself. Today is the day, with a little cooperation from within, we find out if Blueberry is a boy or a girl. We can't wait to know because we have to start on the nursery ASAP!! We have to pick out the "official" name. We also have to prepare Caleb for this wonderful bundle of joy, especially if it's a girl. So much to do and only 20 weeks to go, give or take a little.

Now for the nervous end of it. Not only are we finding out the sex of the baby but they will also find out if the baby is still healthy and vibrant. One thing I do know, is this baby moves quite a bit. So hopefully all is still good. I'm always paranoid, I don't think that will stop till the baby is here. Who am I joking, I'm still that way with Caleb.

So wish us luck on adventure this afternoon. I'll be holding by breath.....figuratively speaking.

Appt is at 2:40

Random Thoughts

I sitting here at work thinking of several Random Thoughts that I'd like to share.

• Today I woke up and I felt great!! When I say great I mean I felt refreshed, energized, happy, sort of what I assume a bear would feel like out of a its deep winter hibernation slumber minus its starvation factor ;-)
• The sun is finally shining bright and rumor has it that we will be feeling its rays of warmth all day! It has been so rainy and miserable here lately I think our farmers should start planting rice instead of corn & beans.
• Caleb is such a wonderful person. I just love his personality and enthusiasm. I wish I could bottle a little bit of his energy up and keep just for me. I know he will soon be going his separate ways with his friends instead of yours truly and that stings only a little now. But I now no matter what he will always be my little buddy.
• Our Verizon (Can you hear me now? Good!) Dept always makes popcorn every morning. Now let me tell you I love that buttery, savory, mouth watering smell. However, today that smell is seriously making me nauseous!
• Blueberry is being a gymnastic this morning. I'm talking flip flops, summer salts, cartwheels, back bins, ect. This baby goes hard and kicks/moves up a storm for two days then rest with minimal movement for a day or two then starts up the routine all over again. Needless to say, I'M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!
• Caleb has a ball game this evening at the Church Diamond and all I can hope for is a challenging game. Our poor Thunder just can't seem to get it together this year. It's unfortunate because the boys on the team are good they just can't pull it together. It's so hard to watch them struggle. All the "helpful" advice we give Caleb just seems to frustrate him even more. What do we do. To give you an idea of how the team is working together all I need to say is watch the movie 'Bad News Bears' nothing seems to work to their advantage. Hopefully we can win a few games this season to help boost their self esteems. Good Luck Thunder!
• Friday is the BIG day! Matt, Caleb, and I will hopefully be able to find out the sex of Blueberry. Talk about excited - well Matt and I anyway ;-) Caleb is praying for a boy. He's even chose a perfect name for a boy. Everyone who I talk to says we're having a girl. We'll just have to wait and see and share the exciting news with family on Friday.
• This weekend is Father's Day weekend. Still not sure what the heck is going on for my F-I-L's Bday/Dad Day. This is all info that I need so I can plan my own Daddy-O's Day. I'm a planner and an organizer and let me tell you, THIS IS KILLING ME!!!!

Now I spoke about everything on my mind at this moment. I told you they were random thoughts nothing special. Just trying to clear my head and for now I think it may have worked. Till later, Have a great day!

So much on my mind....

Where do I begin? So many things I need to get off my chest. Dealing w/ many different feelings. Feelings such as; sadness, anger, uncertainty, and yes even a little excitement.

This past weekend was a very drama filled weekend for our family. Things that couldn't have been controlled and things that absolutely should have been controlled.

I may never understand how God chooses his next angels. It lately seems to me that he takes so many that bring good to our lives. I know its not for me to understand and everyone has a certain purpose here on earth but why the unborn? As you know we're expecting and w/ that leaves many uncertain thoughts rolling around in your head. Am I doing all I can to ensure the good health of our unborn child? As a mother you constantly worry. You pray for the next kick or hiccup. You don't breath at your sono until you see your baby's heart is still beating!! That's just a good mom, I sure others can relate. Now since the recent loss in our family over the weekend I have more uncertainty in my heart than ever. I'm so afraid that something I can't prevent is going to happen. I can't get it out of my head. I wake up w/ it, I go to bed w/ it. I'm so careful to walk the straight and narrow. I call the Dr. w/ any questions. I've even recommended to my husband that we buy a fetal heart monitor to keep a closer eye on our baby for the next four months. Yes, I'm that paranoid. We've just worked so hard to have this wonderful addition to our family,I couldn't imagine my mental state of mind if anything happened.

I'm also concerned for someone very close to my heart. This person has been forced to handle a situation that is unfortunate for anyone to deal with anytime. The only thing I can do is stand by there side and help pull them through the rough waters that lay ahead.

The excitement that I'm looking forward to is knowing that by this Friday, with the baby's cooperation, we will learn the sex of our Blueberry! This is going to be a wonderful Fathers Day gift for Matt. We are planning on having the immediate family over afterwards to share the good news. Matt and I can't wait. Of course, Caleb is still hoping and praying for a baby brother. However, everyone that I see looks at me and says "I think your having a girl". I've even looked at the Chinese Calender and their results say we're having a girl. Whatever we are blessed with will be heartwarming all we pray for is its good health.

Now that my mind is a little more at ease I'll sound off. In a way I want this week to just fly by but I don't want to wish away the best moments of being pregnant. I pray that both the individuals get through the trying times with their heads held high and know that there are a lot of thoughts and prayers headed their way.

~ Family is the most important thing in life ~

Other things may change us,

but we start and end with FAMILY

~ UNKNOWN ~

It Finally Happened

Everything in our pregnancy has pretty well been going by the book. I haven't anything to complain about. I haven't gained hardly any weight at all yet and that really makes me happy. I'm eating pretty healthy, I give into cravings for some sweets or fast food every once and a while. but for the most part I'm doing a good job.

Last night the most wonderful thing happen. Matt finally felt the baby kick!!! It was a very exciting moment for the both of us. Matt's exact words were "That was WILD"!!!! He has always told me that watching me get bigger and getting to feel the baby would make it "real" for him. Now it's "REAL".

Next week Friday will be our 20th week. The time has seemed to just fly by. I was hoping to just sit back and enjoy every part of being pregnant however sometimes I forget I'm even pregnant since I'm on the go constantly. Then when I have a few minutes to enjoy getting a belly, or have a craving, or even feel the baby kick or move around it's late and I'm tired and fall asleep. I think after we find out what we're having we'll (I'll) be able to relate and talk with it more. Be a little more personable.

The baby has been moving around for about 3wks now that I could feel. It's been kicking/punching for about a week and a half. That's what makes this so great, they don't hurt yet. Sitting hear at work and feeling the beautiful life growing inside of me. Something we've worked so hard to have, just saying "Hello, I'm here now". This makes me melt. I know it sounds weird but I find myself constantly staring at my stomach when I'm up walking around. I can't help it, it's just so incredible. I want to meet our Blueberry. I can't wait till we can put a name w/ it too, other than Blueberry.