Nervous & Excited

We've made it to our 20th week. Exciting isn't it?!?!

Today is the big for Matt , Caleb, and myself. Today is the day, with a little cooperation from within, we find out if Blueberry is a boy or a girl. We can't wait to know because we have to start on the nursery ASAP!! We have to pick out the "official" name. We also have to prepare Caleb for this wonderful bundle of joy, especially if it's a girl. So much to do and only 20 weeks to go, give or take a little.

Now for the nervous end of it. Not only are we finding out the sex of the baby but they will also find out if the baby is still healthy and vibrant. One thing I do know, is this baby moves quite a bit. So hopefully all is still good. I'm always paranoid, I don't think that will stop till the baby is here. Who am I joking, I'm still that way with Caleb.

So wish us luck on adventure this afternoon. I'll be holding by breath.....figuratively speaking.

Appt is at 2:40

Random Thoughts

I sitting here at work thinking of several Random Thoughts that I'd like to share.

• Today I woke up and I felt great!! When I say great I mean I felt refreshed, energized, happy, sort of what I assume a bear would feel like out of a its deep winter hibernation slumber minus its starvation factor ;-)
• The sun is finally shining bright and rumor has it that we will be feeling its rays of warmth all day! It has been so rainy and miserable here lately I think our farmers should start planting rice instead of corn & beans.
• Caleb is such a wonderful person. I just love his personality and enthusiasm. I wish I could bottle a little bit of his energy up and keep just for me. I know he will soon be going his separate ways with his friends instead of yours truly and that stings only a little now. But I now no matter what he will always be my little buddy.
• Our Verizon (Can you hear me now? Good!) Dept always makes popcorn every morning. Now let me tell you I love that buttery, savory, mouth watering smell. However, today that smell is seriously making me nauseous!
• Blueberry is being a gymnastic this morning. I'm talking flip flops, summer salts, cartwheels, back bins, ect. This baby goes hard and kicks/moves up a storm for two days then rest with minimal movement for a day or two then starts up the routine all over again. Needless to say, I'M LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!
• Caleb has a ball game this evening at the Church Diamond and all I can hope for is a challenging game. Our poor Thunder just can't seem to get it together this year. It's unfortunate because the boys on the team are good they just can't pull it together. It's so hard to watch them struggle. All the "helpful" advice we give Caleb just seems to frustrate him even more. What do we do. To give you an idea of how the team is working together all I need to say is watch the movie 'Bad News Bears' nothing seems to work to their advantage. Hopefully we can win a few games this season to help boost their self esteems. Good Luck Thunder!
• Friday is the BIG day! Matt, Caleb, and I will hopefully be able to find out the sex of Blueberry. Talk about excited - well Matt and I anyway ;-) Caleb is praying for a boy. He's even chose a perfect name for a boy. Everyone who I talk to says we're having a girl. We'll just have to wait and see and share the exciting news with family on Friday.
• This weekend is Father's Day weekend. Still not sure what the heck is going on for my F-I-L's Bday/Dad Day. This is all info that I need so I can plan my own Daddy-O's Day. I'm a planner and an organizer and let me tell you, THIS IS KILLING ME!!!!

Now I spoke about everything on my mind at this moment. I told you they were random thoughts nothing special. Just trying to clear my head and for now I think it may have worked. Till later, Have a great day!

So much on my mind....

Where do I begin? So many things I need to get off my chest. Dealing w/ many different feelings. Feelings such as; sadness, anger, uncertainty, and yes even a little excitement.

This past weekend was a very drama filled weekend for our family. Things that couldn't have been controlled and things that absolutely should have been controlled.

I may never understand how God chooses his next angels. It lately seems to me that he takes so many that bring good to our lives. I know its not for me to understand and everyone has a certain purpose here on earth but why the unborn? As you know we're expecting and w/ that leaves many uncertain thoughts rolling around in your head. Am I doing all I can to ensure the good health of our unborn child? As a mother you constantly worry. You pray for the next kick or hiccup. You don't breath at your sono until you see your baby's heart is still beating!! That's just a good mom, I sure others can relate. Now since the recent loss in our family over the weekend I have more uncertainty in my heart than ever. I'm so afraid that something I can't prevent is going to happen. I can't get it out of my head. I wake up w/ it, I go to bed w/ it. I'm so careful to walk the straight and narrow. I call the Dr. w/ any questions. I've even recommended to my husband that we buy a fetal heart monitor to keep a closer eye on our baby for the next four months. Yes, I'm that paranoid. We've just worked so hard to have this wonderful addition to our family,I couldn't imagine my mental state of mind if anything happened.

I'm also concerned for someone very close to my heart. This person has been forced to handle a situation that is unfortunate for anyone to deal with anytime. The only thing I can do is stand by there side and help pull them through the rough waters that lay ahead.

The excitement that I'm looking forward to is knowing that by this Friday, with the baby's cooperation, we will learn the sex of our Blueberry! This is going to be a wonderful Fathers Day gift for Matt. We are planning on having the immediate family over afterwards to share the good news. Matt and I can't wait. Of course, Caleb is still hoping and praying for a baby brother. However, everyone that I see looks at me and says "I think your having a girl". I've even looked at the Chinese Calender and their results say we're having a girl. Whatever we are blessed with will be heartwarming all we pray for is its good health.

Now that my mind is a little more at ease I'll sound off. In a way I want this week to just fly by but I don't want to wish away the best moments of being pregnant. I pray that both the individuals get through the trying times with their heads held high and know that there are a lot of thoughts and prayers headed their way.

~ Family is the most important thing in life ~

Other things may change us,

but we start and end with FAMILY

~ UNKNOWN ~

It Finally Happened

Everything in our pregnancy has pretty well been going by the book. I haven't anything to complain about. I haven't gained hardly any weight at all yet and that really makes me happy. I'm eating pretty healthy, I give into cravings for some sweets or fast food every once and a while. but for the most part I'm doing a good job.

Last night the most wonderful thing happen. Matt finally felt the baby kick!!! It was a very exciting moment for the both of us. Matt's exact words were "That was WILD"!!!! He has always told me that watching me get bigger and getting to feel the baby would make it "real" for him. Now it's "REAL".

Next week Friday will be our 20th week. The time has seemed to just fly by. I was hoping to just sit back and enjoy every part of being pregnant however sometimes I forget I'm even pregnant since I'm on the go constantly. Then when I have a few minutes to enjoy getting a belly, or have a craving, or even feel the baby kick or move around it's late and I'm tired and fall asleep. I think after we find out what we're having we'll (I'll) be able to relate and talk with it more. Be a little more personable.

The baby has been moving around for about 3wks now that I could feel. It's been kicking/punching for about a week and a half. That's what makes this so great, they don't hurt yet. Sitting hear at work and feeling the beautiful life growing inside of me. Something we've worked so hard to have, just saying "Hello, I'm here now". This makes me melt. I know it sounds weird but I find myself constantly staring at my stomach when I'm up walking around. I can't help it, it's just so incredible. I want to meet our Blueberry. I can't wait till we can put a name w/ it too, other than Blueberry.

I know all is going to be well now

This whole baby thing has been quite a whirl wind for Caleb. Frankly, it broke my heart to see how concerned he was about being a BIG brother. I thought he would love the idea straight out the gate. Well, I now know, this was 100% wishful thinking on my part. Caleb has had nothing but my full attention for the last 10 years and after I thought about it our news probably scared the daylight out of him. I felt horrible about myself after the fact. I should have never thought he would share my excitement right away.

After his initial reaction we were sure to devote 110% of our time to Caleb. Make sure he knew this baby would never take his place in my heart. He's my first born, that will always be so special to me. We updated him on everyone of our OB appointments and kept him informed of every new sono pic. I felt like I was doing everything possible to make him comfortable in our new adjustments.

Finally, this morning while getting ready for work Caleb came in our room and offered to make our bed for me. I graciously accepted his offer. After he made our bed he came over to where I was standing and patted my belly (which I might add is definitely starting to protrude) and said with a smile, "Is that my baby in there?" At that point my heart was melted. I felt he finally accepted and looks forward to the baby. HE'S READY TO BE THAT BIG BROTHER!!!!

I couldn't be a happier person right now. My son accepts the upcoming happiness to our family. I have a wonderful husband who won't let me lift a finger, he's truly my Superman. My family is constantly checking in on me to make sure things are going well. My friends are spoiling me with smiles and excitement on a daily basis. What more could a pregnant girl want.

Happy Mother's Day

Wishing all mother's a very Happy Mother's Day 2009. From one mother to another we know how much our children have blessed our lives.

I'm so grateful to have my sweet Caleb. He is the highlight to my life. He brings me smiles, he helped me find a love I didn't know 10 years ago that I was even capable of having. We, of course, have our every now and then mother-son trials but in the end he's tugging right at my heart strings. I guess what I'm trying to say is Caleb is my little sunshine. My constant ray of hope. No matter how bad a day I've had all I need is one word, smile, or glance from him and I'm relaxed again. I can't imagine a day in my life without him. I Love You Caleb!!

We also have a work in progress to be grateful, thankful, and anxious for. Otherwise known as: "Blueberry"

As you all know we are expecting another miracle for our family in November. We are so delighted to have another chance at parenthood. Even more excited to watch Caleb's excitement grow w/ us. As "Blueberry" gets bigger the wonder if its a boy or girl is fun to discuss of an evening. We can hardly wait to me "Blueberry". We don't care what the sex of the baby is just pray for a safe delivery and a healthy "Blueberry".

Being a mother is the most exciting thing in my life. Children are little miracles of God and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity of being a mother!

Happy Mother's Day!

We've made it!

Today is a day to celebrate! Matt and I have made it to our 2nd trimester. I know this may not seem big to most but for us it's a huge milestone. We have tried so hard and so long for this beautiful time and now I feel like we can sit back and enjoy the rest of this time.

Caleb is really coming around and showing signs of how good of a big brother he is going to be. He is showing concern for everything I do to make sure I'm not overdoing anything. He has told us that he wants to be at the sono when they inform us of the sex of the baby. He still thinks the only thing we should bring home is a boy though. I don't think that's ever going to change. The good thing is, if we are informed we're having a girl then we have around 20 weeks to get him ready for her :-) He'll do just fine either way. He's my wonderful little man!

Thank You

I want to say Thank You to everyone for all your sweet comments and especially those who have taken the time to send us cards.

We really appreciate all the kind words and support. We have been wanting this little edition for our family for quite some time now. It's wonderful to know we have great friends and family that will be with us every step of the way!

I plan on updating everyone often. So often you'll probably get tired of my proud momma moments. So I'll just say sorry now to everyone for being annoying.

Everything is going great!! Tomorrow we will hit our 13 week point w/ just 1 more week before gliding into our 2nd Trimester. Can you believe how fast time flies? I want this to last forever, we tried too long and too hard for it to be over so quickly.

I luckily haven't gained ANY weight yet. Caleb even looked at me this morning after I got dressed for work and said "Mom, you don't even look fat yet." I had to laugh so hard because all who know Caleb he is the sweetest however the most crucially honest little man you'll ever meet. If I were to ask him if I looked fat in something, he would tell me with no uncertainty in his voice, YES!! if that were the case. I so respect that of him. On the flip side he lets me know when I'm "One Hot Momma" too. He is just my little companion.

I am fearing that in the 2nd Trimester I will gain a ton of weight. Matt was a big baby 8-9lbs. Caleb was only 7lbs 12oz and he was very hard to push out. I was only 6-7lbs. I'm petrified that this baby will be at least 8 1/2 lbs and I'm going to struggle carrying and pushing out.

Now that you know our weights, what do you think our baby will weigh at delivery? I am interested to know what everyones thoughts are on this. I think it would give my family some good conversations and possibly some good laughs.

Let me know what your thinking :-) Don't scare me too much!

Well, The time has come.....

OK, the time has come. Thankfully to my wonderful S-I-L Christina who helped me with the final "technical" details tonight. Your the best C!!!

This announcement has been a work in progress for the last few years and I'm very excited to let it out!

To all our family and friends I want to share with you our proud family moment..........in another six months you'll get to meet him or her yourself but for now we have photos!

Please meet our newest addition: "Blueberry"




Matt and I are expecting our 2nd child to our family. We couldn't be more proud!!! We've work so very hard to accomplish this, it's truly our 2nd miracle in life......1st and foremost will always be our son Caleb.

Caleb took this news a little harder than we'd hoped but now that quite a few weeks have gone by and we've kept him informed about everything going on he seems to really be coming around to being the BIG BROTHER :-) It was a lot for my little 10 year old to take in after having mom and dad to himself for so long. All his emotions were expected, he's only human. He'll always be my little man!

Anyway, thanks for your patience while I worked out all my computer faults to get these pictures scan to our computer. Thanks again to Christina for keeping me from pulling my hair out, I was so ready to tell the world but didn't have everything ready to make this announcement complete.

Our due date is tentatively November the 8th. Yes, this will also be our 6th year wedding anniversary. What a wonderful gift!!!

Just a little ending note. No matter how bad you think things are getting for you, or you just don't feel strong enough to carry all the burdens and difficulties in life; Remember God will never give you more than he knows you can handle. I'm a firm believer in this. Always count in the Lord to help you through everything.

In ending I would love to share with everyone my most favorite poem of the Lord called:

Footprints in the Sand

:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

is when I carried you."

Author: Mary Stevens 1984

I know many days seem like we're on our own. I know this last year took a HUGE toll on me but as long as I had the Lord in my heart, he always carried me through my troubles and pain. You just have to let him in and give him a chance.

God Bless!!!!!

Technical Difficulties

I know I said I would share new info w/ you all this weekend but unfortunately I continue to have Technical Difficulties. Hopefully I can get everything put together so I can attach all my new info to the next blog I do. I'm so very eager to share my long awaited info.

Please be patient with me. I may have to contact my favorite S-I-L Christina to pick her brain a bit.

Till next time, I hope you have a wonderful week!!