I want my sunshine back

Do you ever just have a time where you've lost your sunshine. Like life just isn't the same. Somewhere in the last week I've lost my sunshine and frankly I'm starting to worry that I'm not doing something right to get it back. I try to stay strong, enthusiastic, and reassuring but nothing seems to be working. Finally today I called in a couple of reinforcements to help my sunshine find its way back to me. I hope time is all that is required to mend my sunshine, he shows his smiling sweet face at me again soon.

I miss my LITTLE SUNSHINE and I want you back.

I'm Up & Many thing on my mind

• Here it is 6 am and I can't fall back to sleep and I don't have to work today. I woke up at 5:54 am in the same spot as I was when I fell asleep at 10 pm. Surprisingly, I didn't have a lower backache or neck ache from not moving a muscle all night.
  
  I was shocked, after waking up completely, noticing how dark it was outside. I'm used to getting up this early don't recall having to turn on lights to see what I'm doing. I guess fall is just around the corner.
  
  Today Matt and Caleb are heading out to deer camp to hunt some squirrel. I loved Caleb's reaction to Matt when he told them their Saturday agenda. His eyes lit up and the smile went from ear to ear. Yes, a KODAK moment, but this silly mom left her camera in the car and had no shoes on to go get it. So this will have to be a memory I hold only to myself.
  
  Caleb is serving in mass this evening and I think he will have an audience of family to support him once again. His Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Jim are coming for the first time plus my mom and dad and maybe his Tante' and Matt's family minus a couple. He is so lucky and at 10 probably doesn't know how much he is loved by so many people.
  
  After mass Matt's family will be heading over to our house to start celebrating his mom and dad's 38th wedding anniversary. We look forward to having everyone and sharing in the memories of years flown by.
  
  Well I better get of the computer and start some cleaning, laundry, organizing, ect. since I will have no time later on.
  
  

Hope everyone has a great Labor Day weeekend!!!

Finally.....

Well after a long talk and yes, even a few arguments, Matt and I finally decided to take the Lamaze classes at our local hospital. A lot of thought went into this decision, and we finally got to an understanding with each other that above all it would be a close "bonding" time, if you will, only revolving around us and Blueberry. No remodeling, no painting, no decorating the baby's room, no deciding on her name, no figuring out who her God Parents are going to be, just us. Just us preparing for our little girl. Maybe learning a few tips on how to make sure Caleb never feels left out of anything.

I wanted to make sure that Matt knew what he is walking into. I want him to know that I will turn from Dr. Jeckle to Mr. Hyde in a matter of 3.2 seconds. I want him to know signs that I may need his help or encouragement without me telling him what to do. The last thing I want that day is unorganized chaos or panic or even passing out. For the hours I'm in labor the world will revolve around me and what I need to ease the pain.

So hopefully with our decision we will lead to a chaos free in the delivery room in November. Now with everything mostly in place, Matt and I can just sit back relax, cheer on Caleb in his soccer season, and make a few final decision on Blueberry's behalf.

I really am looking for to the next two months of our pregnancy. We've made it to 31 weeks today, hopefully we at least make it to 37 weeks. That would make Blueberry's birthday October 16th. She is due November 8th. I wonder how close to her due date she'll make her grand entrance? Regardless, we'll be ready!

Who would have thought...

Why is it when a woman goes on a diet one of the first things she looses are her boobs and when women get pregnant one of the first things to get bigger are there boobs?!

Well I must have been under great denial in this pregnancy about my boobs. I was a 34B when I got pregnant since I lost all that weight two summers ago. After battling with fall out recently my mom suggested I try a bigger size. I thought, "No way, I haven't got big enough to fit in a C". So mom and I did the bra thing and I was SHOCKED to find that I was smashing my boobs into a 34B for the last 5 months and come to find out I'm in a 34D. Talk about flabergasted! I've never been in a D in my life. They don't look like a D but according to the bras I have now, it's true.

I asked my husband if he had any idea what size bra I was wearing and right off the top he said "D" with a huge smile on face. I couldn't believe he knew. I must have been in such denial it's not funny. Thankfully I'm much more comfortable and the twins seems happier too :-)

Carpet is going in the baby's room today...yay!!!!

Today is the day I've been waiting for since I knew we were prego. This morning at 7am Jason was at our house ready to lay the carpet in Blueberry's room. I've never been more excited to see someone show up at our house that early in the morning!

Now that the carpet is being done this means that come this weekend Matt, Caleb, and I will be busy bringing down our crib and changing table and setting up where I want everthing to go. Maybe I'll even be able to talk a shopping trip to Baby Depot too. There are still a few little odds and ends to pick up for her room there yet.

By my calculations we should have a whole month to just relax and prepare ourselves for little miss Blueberry's arrival. This should be plenty of time to visit the hospital, try to talk Matt into taking a labor and delivery class (wish me luck on that, he doesn't think he needs any help), signing up for Baptismal classes, and most importantly ~ PICKING OUT HER NAME!!!!!!!

Matt did spend all evening last night on Baby Center looking at every name possibility there was. I do think we have it narrowed down to three possibilities now though. So I do feel a lot less stressed about this now. However, no one will know what we've chosen until the day of her arrival. That is the one thing Matt, Caleb, and I are keeping to ourselves. So until that wonderful day we will all refer to her as "Blueberry".

Levels down again :-(

I should have know something wasn't quite right. All weekend I've just been very tired and yesterday it was up to complete exhaustion. I just chalked it up to being prego and not resting enough, my fault.

I got a phone call this afternoon from my dr. office with need to know news. My thyroid hasn't been working right since I got prego so they put me on a new med and told me that more than likely I would be on it for the rest of my life, YAY! Now my thyroid level isn't up to standard levels again and there going to up my dosage, YAY!! The only good thing out of this conversation was that hopefully I'll now have my energy lever boosted back to normal again. I'm too busy to be down on my energy. Not to mention, I'm very grumpy when I'm tired.

The nurse also told me that my iron level is still at a 10.4 and they want it at least at a 12. My iron level is always low and can be another cause of my exhaustion but really 10.4 is pretty normal for me. As long as the baby is getting what she needs I'm ok with a 10.4. I'm going to try to eat more salad, eggs, and raisins from this point on. I want to see if I can get a little higher for these last couple of months. Who knows since all these foods are "good for you" foods maybe I'll lose a couple of pounds.

Well, off to higher levels. I hope these meds work.

Our trip to Chicago

Well, we're back in action at home. All is back to normal again.

Over the weekend Caleb and I took our trip to Chicago to visit my sister, Jennifer. It's always fun for us to take a few days off and get some well deserved QT with her. She is a fantastic hostess and always has her little nephew's best interest at heart.

First, we went to a Gretchen Wilson concert on Friday night. Now I'm not an over-the-top fan of hers but she is a great entertainer that keeps her audience going. It was Caleb's first concert and even enjoyed it except for the fact that it kept on until well past 10:30 and believe it or not, he was exhausted and wouldn't leave my side. He actually fell asleep on the drive home, I know amazing right?!

Then on Saturday Jen took us shopping at a huge outlet mall. We tried to find Caleb a new pair of shoes without any success. Can you believe the NIKE outlet had no, none, zippo, shoes in his size!!!! Crazy right!?! He was so disappointed, he wanted a new pair of shocks, there's always Champaign :-) Then we stopped in Carter's, boy what a mistake. We all had a blast in there, even Caleb. Next time you see him and he acts like he's not ready for this baby or to even be a BIG brother he's fibbing. He had as much if not more fun in there shopping for Blueberry than I would have ever imagined. He kept saying to me, "We gotta get that!", "Ewe mom what about this", and so on the whole time we were there. I couldn't have been happier!

Later that evening my sis had gotten tickets to the Medieval Times show. Caleb was so excited. This was all about the knights, kings & queens, jousting, stunt horses, and of course eating your meal with no utensils!!! The meal was fantastic and huge! They served each person a bowl of soup, piece of garlic bread, HALF of a baked chicken, a big piece of BBQ rib, a half of a seasoned baked potato, and for desert a homemade apple turnover.....mmmmmmm! Needless to say we all a to go box to take home. This place was full of action for everyone, definitely more kiddie orientated though.

We rooted for the "Green Knight", and he was one tough mamajamma too. Until the end came and we found out that he kidnapped the prince and held him ransom. Of course he was slayed by a good knight and the Prince was saved to live happily ever after with his princess and the king could rest again.

Here is a couple of pix to share. Aren't our crowns AWESOME!!

Christina, I did it!!!!

I know that most people will think I'm a weird-o for getting so excited about something that probably comes so easy to most but I did it and I'm so proud of myself!

Anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty computer illiterate. If I can't figure something out I just call my brilliant, computer savvy S-I-L, Christina. Well tonight I figured out all by myself how to download songs and put them on my blog!! Cool right?!? I didn't even have to call Christina w/ the usual technical help, I'm so excited and proud of myself.

OK, enough gloating on myself I just wanted to share my happiness w/ everyone else who might find this blog humorous =)

Yaaa, I did it!!

I finally got the book TWILIGHT read. All 500 some pages. For me, this is a major accomplishment because I hate to read. I'd much rather watch a movie if I had any down time available.

Talk about a great book. Yes, the movie was very good but this book was great. It went into so much more detail and filled you in on a lot that the movie left out. I was very impressed w/ all the good details on each character and the showing of how much one family would do to help someone they loved! Ahhh, definitely a chick thing.

I want to send a big Shout Out to my friend Dawn :-) Thank you for introducing me to the series of books. Now I'm addicted and even though I asked for the New Moon for Christmas I'm not going to be able to wait. I'm going to get it tonight while I'm out. The sneak peak at the end of Twilight leaves you hanging at such a dramatic point......OMG.....I'm hooked!!

Well, I'm off on my next adventure......till next time....

Happy Thoughts for me!

Well as of today I'm a widow till Sunday. Deer Season has struck again. I've got a lot going on this week and emotions are running high. Anymore lately that's all I am, a big pile of blubery emotions. Tears, sobs, and sleepless nights.

I usually love deer season. I have the house to myself for my good quality Me time. This year is soo different for me though, why? Anyone who knows me probably knows why. I try so hard to be strong on the outside and carry a positive attitude, but this season it's really difficult to do without my husband. I've never been this needy before and I hope it doesn't last long. I know I'll make it through. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm just not a quiter. I will prevail in what I'm working so hard for. I have nothing but happy thoughts now for a wonderful future.

Good Luck Honey!! Hope you find you BIG Buck!

Here's to my HAPPY THOUGHTS!

I remember when....

I remember when my beautiful & healthy son, Caleb, was born on December 22nd 1998 @6:15 pm in Danville, IL.



Caleb has been the inspiration to my life. I don't know where I would be today without him. He is my reason everyday to get up and take care of my responsibilities. He brings me joy, laughter, and a few (small) hard times. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him.



Caleb was born on my little sister, Jennifer, birthday. She just turned 14 that day. I still to this day don't know if she was happy or maybe a little disappointed in sharing her birthday with him. My birthday is exactly two weeks before hers (theirs) and we always had our parties together since there seemed to be so much going on in December. It was just easier for our parents. I never really cared because I was eight years older and had a few birthday to myself. She had to share her day w/ me then & now because of me she has to always and forever share her birthday w/ her nephew. I know she loves him dearly and he can't live w/ out her. Maybe in the end it will help them be inseparable.

Where does the time go? Once so tiny and helpless and now such a little big man and very strong hearted. I love you Caleb w/ all my heart and soul!

Love Always,
Your Momma

On my own for the weekend.

Well, it's that time of year again. Time for the men in my house to go off for the weekend and look for Bambi's dad. It's something that Matt and Caleb have been looking forward to for about 2 1/2 months now. They (well really just Matt) put in many long hours putting together "huts" to set up out at deer camp this year. I mean these things are nice. They have windows on both sides and the front. They have equip them w/ plastic tubs filled w/ pillows and blankets. They've also brought in the must have: Office Chairs on rollers! That's roughin' it if you ask me ;-)

Matt says he helped make these huts so it would be easier for the little ones that go out there to assist there dad's. I agree w/ him to an extent but I know he will by far appreciate it more than the little ones will since he's been dealing w/ the bitter cold of deer season for so many years. All they need now are little space heaters and they'll be at the top of there hunting comfort level. We'll see what Santa thinks about that.

________________________________

_________________________

___________________

Yesterday I had the day off and spent it just laying around our house. Granted, there was a lot of house cleaning and many loads of laundry that I should have done but I was very lazy. I decided that laying down, watching television and cuddling w/ my kitties sounded a whole lot better. I don't get to watch a whole lot of T.V. because I'm always so busy. While flipping through the channels I realized why I don't watch a lot of T.V., even if I had the time. There's nothing on!

After channel surfing for awhile I figured there couldn't be a better time to pop in a DVD. So I did.

First movie out: How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. It's an all time favorite of mine and I can probably recite it word for word. Anyway, it's a great love story. I might also add the actor/actress' are not bad on the eyes ;-) You should check it out if you haven't alread done so, it's an older movie.

Second movie later that evening was: Untraceable w/ Diane Lane.

Now I'm not a lover of scary movies but this movie had it all; drama, action, suspense, and yes a little scare too. I had to close my eyes at a couple of moments but for the most part this movie is very good. I would recommend it to other, wait, that's what I'm doing.....LOL!

Winter Sore Throat/Cough has finally hit me.

I was just thinking last week how my health was going great. I felt fine; no sniffles, coughs, stomach aches, ect. The reason being, both Matt and Caleb have been a little under the weather in the past weeks and I stayed healthy. Shocking!! Caleb has had the sniffles for about 3-4 weeks and just can't shake it. He's not feeling bad, he still has all the energy and maybe a little more than an average 9 year old. That's just Caleb, nothing gets him down. My easiest way to know he's sick is when he barely moves. Matt had a scratchy throat a couple of weeks ago but went away quickly so we thought nothing of it.

Now, starting Sunday late evening, I couldn't get my throat moist no matter how much water I drank. I knew at this point something was up. Low and behold Monday morning I could NOT get out of bed. I was so tired and weak. My throat was a little sore. My eyes even hurt. Finally, I rolled out of bed at 6:30 & got ready for work. Today was even worse I didn't stir out of bed till 6:42.....UGH!

Once I'm up moving around I feel a little better but nowhere near a 100%. I would almost rather a stomach flu over what I have. With my profession I have to talk A LOT and having a hoarse voice is a big problem. Luckily my work is very easy going and doesn't mind how I sound their just glad I made it to work ;-)

Well, hopefully soon I start feeling better instead of worse. The men in my life are going to be gone from Thursday to Sunday deer hunting. Let me tell you how excited they are too! Plus my parents are both going to be out of town this weekend to visit my sister in Chicago. So needless to say, on top of everything else this week, I hope I'm feeling better.

Which is your Favorite?

Just sitting here bored at work eating some Starburst. As I was eating I recalled a time where a friend of mine called strange for choosing the yellow ones as my favorite over the pink ones. I don't know why I like the yellow ones, I'm not much for anything lemony even lemonade.

So I was just curious, am I strange for enjoying the yellow ones more than any others? I want to know what everyone elses thoughts are, how strange am I?

Kudos...

A big THANK YOU to my S-I-L, Christina!! She help me get more "blogger inclined". I was wanting to start following other bloggers and stretch my wings into the blogger lifestyle a little better and thanks to her I am surfing it now w/out a glitch. I was tired of just blogging and that was it. I look forward to introducing myself to the Blogging World.

Feel free to comment on my many bad days and horrible mood swings. I do have a lot of good days in there too.....LOL!

Thanks Christina, I don't know what I'd do w/out you ;-)

My new purse

After a year of loving my 1st ever "Coach" purse I had to retire it due to raggedness. I'm very excited to share my new "Coach" bag. It's colorful and different. It's a little deeper than I'm used to but I think I'll adjust to it well. I also got a new flat wallet. I've been wanting one for a while now but never found one I really liked in the stores.

I want to thank all my family and friends for stopping by and making my 2nd Annual Purse Party a complete success. I look forward to next years show.

Just a little Frazzled

TGIF, that's the first thing I need to say! Secondly, Calgon take me away!!

Stress, Stress and more STRESS! Home, work, friends, & family are all on my stress list. This has been building since Monday and I'm about to blow!

I hope by next Monday thing will start tapering down. I sometimes take too much on my plate and have no one to blame but myself. I keep telling myself to slow down w/ all the above and I try but in the end I resort back to my usual ways.

I keep thinking that in the next few years when Caleb is in Jr. High and High School I'll only need to work part time if any at all. Then I'll have all the time in the world. Ya Right?!?!

From this point today on I look forward to having a rather large stiff drink, taking nice hot shower, and going to bed!!

Here's to better days ahead!

We Thank You!!

I want to take a moment and Thank ALL of our Veterans for there commitment, courage, and most of all, honor. You put forth all you have for our country w/ out argument or hesitation. You do what many Americans can't because of fear. I know I'm not physically or mentally strong enough for your duties.

----------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------

------------------------

You have given us the opportunity to live happy and safe lives and for our children to dream big.

You are HERO'S to all of us!!

God Bless You & Your Families!

_______________________________________

This Blog is dedicated to my S-I-L, Christina Ordner

Thank You for all your sacrifices while enlisted in our

United States Air Force and Thanks for all you do for me!

Job well Done!